Action Jackson Review – Infernal Garbage

When a girl’s luck changes drastically for the better each time she espies the dick of a young man exiting the loo/dressing room, you know Bollywood is plumbing Satanic lows.

Eternally burdened by ill-luck (at office, movie halls, restaurants etc), life is at a low ebb for Khushi (Sonakshi Sinha).

Dame luck will smile on this cow only if she sees the dick of Vishy (Ajay Devgan), a fact the idiotic Jonah makes no secret of to her friends.

So desperate is Khushi to marry an Indian groom from America that she runs looking for Vishy or rightly speaking looking for his lucky dicky.

I’m not exaggerating, not even by a degree. I swear!

Alas, ‘dick-luck’ is merely one of countless dickhead elements littered throughout the atrocious Action Jackson depravity.

Action Jackson is not so much a movie as the collective vomit expelled by director Prabhu Deva, Ajay Devgan, Sonakshi Sinha, Anand Raj et al on the faces of the audience.

As is her wont, Sonakshi Sinha wears the constant demeanor of a drooling cow lethargically, moronically chewing the cud after grazing around the entire neighborhood. Mercifully, this bovine creature’s time on screen is short.

Ajay Devgan’s soporific performance and selection of this insane film is incontrovertible proof that brain damage is hereditary.

Cuckoo father, cuckoo son! Bizarre Story

The story is infantile in its entirety, ‘written’ by an ass aka A.C. Mughil.

Bizarrely silly but par for the course in Bollywood (Don, Rowdy Rathore, Dhoom 3, Billa, Aaradhana etc had lookalikes), there are two Ajay Devgans in Action Jackson.

The first Ajay (Vishy) is a small Mumbai thug who uses his hands to bash up his victims.

A Bangkok-based killer and right-handman of an international arms dealer Xavier (Anand Raj), the second Ajay (AJ) uses his sword to dispatch his victims.

Hands= Mumbai Ajay; Sword=Thailand Ajay. Comprende?

Once AJ rescues don Xavier’s sister Mariana from other baddies, his fate is sealed – She develops a crazy, morbid obsession for him no matter that he’s already married.

Fleeing from crazy Mariana and dangerous Xavier, AJ lands in Mumbai with his injured wife Anusha where his path soon collides with lookalike Vishy.

After hearing AJ’s sob story, Vishy goes to Bangkok as AJ. Just when things are getting too hot for Vishy, AJ returns to Bangkok sword in hand.

To the disgustingly deafening soundtrack of AJ, AJ, AJ, the sword soon puts an end to Xavier, Mariana and ultimately our misery.

Bad as Bollywood has always been, it’s hitting new lows with the entry of South Indian jackasses like Prabhu Deva and Murugadoss as directors.

Prabhu Deva is unfit to direct a kindergarten program let alone a feature film.

Action Jackson has been shot in Mumbai, Thailand, New Zealand, Austria and God knows where else.

SearchIndia.com strongly discourages all sane elements from watching Action Jackson.

It takes a special bunch of savages to make an infernal piece of trash like Action Jackson.